I don’t want to go in. I know William and Gracie haven’t arrived yet. Not even a stunt driver could beat Ted in London traffic. I’m just standing on the pavement, staring at the front door, willing Miller to encourage me onward. I know he won’t, though. He’ll leave me forever if he has to, unprepared to make me rush something monumental that I thought would never happen. But it is going to happen. And I really have no idea how to handle it. Should I go in now? Should I prepare her, let her know Gracie is on her way? Or should I wait and take my mother in to see Nan? I really don’t know, but I’m halfway to my decision being made for me when the front door swings open and Gregory appears. It takes a few confused moments to register that he’s not alone, and his companion is neither Nan nor George. It’s Ben.
‘Baby girl.’ His greeting rolls out on a gush of relieved air and he moves in fast, taking me in his arms, with not so much as a look at Miller to gain approval or permission. It’s not needed anymore. He squeezes me tightly and I look over his shoulder to see Ben smiling fondly. It doesn’t even fall away when I watch his eyes cast over our cuddling forms to where Miller is standing. ‘Are you OK?’ Greg asks, pulling me from his embrace, scanning my face and wincing at the sight of my cut cheek. I try nodding, knowing speech isn’t something I’m capable of right now, but even my bodily functions are failing me, so Gregory looks to Miller. ‘Is she OK?’
‘Perfect,’ he answers, the sound of leather soles beating the path getting closer.
‘And you?’ Gregory asks, his question full of genuine concern. ‘Are you OK?’
Miller answers with the exact same word. ‘Perfect.’
‘I’m glad.’ He gives me a small smile and pecks my forehead. ‘William called me.’
I don’t even flinch. I know that means William has filled Gregory in on . . . everything, my thoughts only confirmed when my best friend lets his eyes slip down to my tummy. He smiles a little but manages to stop himself from saying anything further on that matter. ‘She’s waiting for you.’ He steps to the side, as does Ben, and opens up the route to my grandmother, but I don’t get to proceed with caution, as the sound of a car pulling up to the kerb distracts me.
I swing around, knowing what I’ll find, and see her tentatively stepping onto the pavement, clutching the top of the open car door. She’s doing what I was a few moments ago, gazing up at the house, looking a little lost and overwhelmed. William joins her and slips a comforting arm around her waist, and she looks up at him, forcing a small smile. He speaks no words, just nods encouragingly, and I watch in fascination as Gracie seems to find a bit of strength from their connection, much like how Miller and I work. Her chest rises slowly and her cheeks puff as she exhales, her fingers flexing on the car door.
No one is saying a word. The atmosphere is delicate and thick with nerves, and not just mine. Everyone here loves my grandmother dearly. I won’t be silly enough to discount Ben, especially knowing he’s obviously spent some time with Nan. Everyone knows the enormity of what is about to happen. But no one seems to be the one who wants to lead. We’re all just standing on the pavement, waiting for one of us to make the first move, speak, anything to set the wheels in motion.
But it’s none of us out here.
‘Let me through!’ Nan’s demand pulls everybody to face the house. ‘Out of my way!’ Ben and Gregory are virtually tossed aside as she barrels through and lands on the doorstep.
She’s in a dressing gown, but her hair is perfect. She is perfect.
She halts on the doorstep, her hand reaching for the wall to offer a little support. I want to run to her, hug her, and tell her everything is OK, but something stops me. She steps forward, her old navy eyes looking past me, down the garden path. ‘Gracie?’ she whispers, visibly trying to focus harder, like she can’t quite believe what she’s seeing. ‘Gracie, darling, is that you?’ She takes another wobbly step forward, her hand now moving to her face where she covers her mouth with her palm.
My teeth clench from my tight jaw and my vision becomes compromised by the onset of tears. I sniffle hopelessly, ignoring Miller’s hand around my waist, and turn to see my mother. William is holding her up and she’s clinging to him for dear life. ‘Mum,’ she sobs, tears bursting from her eyes.
A painful weep yanks my attention back to Nan, and I panic when she stutters on her feet, astonishment mixed with happiness rampant on her old face. ‘My beautiful girl.’ She begins to fold to the floor, her frail body not able to keep her on her feet any longer.
‘Nan!’ My heart misses too many beats and I rush over to her, but I’m beaten to it.
Gracie intercepts me and seizes Nan, folding slowly to the floor with her. ‘Thank you, God, for bringing her back to me,’ Nan sobs, throwing her arms around my mother and clinging on tightly. They’re locked together, their cries muffled, buried in each other’s necks. Everyone leaves them huddled on the ground together, reunited after too many lost years. I spend a few moments casting a look to everyone here, seeing every set of eyes watery. Everyone is choked by the overwhelming reunion. I feel like the final piece of my broken world has just clicked into place.
Finally, I look to Miller and he nods his understanding, taking me gently by the neck. They need their time together. Just them. And truly, deeply, I know my spunky nan will be just fine without me for a little longer.
And truly, deeply, I know that Miller will not.
Chapter 24